dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Randomize
