I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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