is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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