i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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