I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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