and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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