Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
