Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
