we're blogging at a bar
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
