Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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