You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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