If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
