I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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