Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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