i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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