Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
