He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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