she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it glows. i had to have it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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