yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
