No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
