shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
