Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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