Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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