They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
