It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
bring money and cleavage
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
