it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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