I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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