My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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