We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
