all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
