i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
