i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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