please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
