Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
