I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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