don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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