i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
