Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
