it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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