You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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