I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
