Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
