She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
