i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
