I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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