lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
