Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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