So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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