Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize
