Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
