I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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