Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If I die, sorry about rent.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
