Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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