I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
